Teenagers hear corrections in high definition and praise in a whisper. You can say the genuinely encouraging thing and watch it not quite land — while the one critical comment from Tuesday is apparently filed away forever.
That's not them being difficult. The adolescent brain is wired to be especially alert to threat, criticism, and social danger. The good stuff has to be said more clearly, and more often, just to register at the same volume.
So say it louder. Say it specifically. "I noticed how you handled that disappointment — that took real maturity" lands completely differently than a passing "good job." Specific praise feels true; generic praise slides off.
Kids believe the feedback they get the most of. Make sure some of it is good.
A small practice
Once a day, name one thing you genuinely appreciated — out loud, where they can hear it. Not as a manipulation or a strategy to get behavior you want, but as a habit. Kids can feel the difference between praise that's a lever and praise that's just true.
Over time this rewires the background hum of how they think you see them — and, eventually, how they see themselves.
For a while, your voice becomes their inner voice. It's worth being intentional about what you're leaving in there.
They may roll their eyes. They'll also remember.